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Wed, May. 21st, 2008, 09:05 am

So I've tried the pills again. They're just not going to work. Lexapro makes me angry and fat. Zoloft keeps me from sleeping and instead of taking me off it, he wants me to take something for sleep that makes me shake all the time. Nothing seems to work. I just can't stop worrying. I'm sure it's this way for a lot of you, but I can't seem to watch television anymore. I see illness everywhere, and not just common, every day stuff, but the kind of things that I fear the most. I stopped watching medical shows all together a little while ago, but I started again. I am so terrified of neuromuscular disorders that I am always checking my strength and reflexes. I measure my muscles and lift weights. I'm sure I'm injuring myself by lifting too much, but I'm trying so hard to convince myself that I'm not dying. I'm at work right now and it's so hard to get work done sometimes. I can't concentrate. If I have a muscle pain or feel a little tired, I nearly have a panic attack. What on earth can I do? If medication isn't going to help me and counseling only helps for a while, how am I going to live like this?

Wed, May. 21st, 2008 01:19 pm (UTC)

Not entirely sure on what you're trying to alleviate. Try and find something that's a comfort. For me there's baths and tea and a heating pad, laughter, breathing exercises.

Medications help but strategies are more important imo.

Wed, May. 21st, 2008 01:23 pm (UTC)

I'm just trying to calm the worry enough to function. Little things help for a while, but the thoughts return. The therapist is convinced my obsessive thoughts are chemical and hence the medication, but when the medication makes me worse, what are my options? I guess I'm just at the end of my rope here.

Wed, May. 21st, 2008 02:16 pm (UTC)

You are under a chain reaction between the mind and body; Your nerves are over-stimulated and they need rest. A drug can possibly this but so can you. Don't belittle the things that help. :)

I wonder, perhaps you'd benefit from documenting your days? Write every single thing you do and think, from wake to sleep, along with the time if you like. Get a notepad and try it if this sounds doable.

Wed, May. 21st, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)

Thanks, I'll give that a try. Maybe the structure alone will do some good.

Thu, May. 22nd, 2008 10:21 am (UTC)

I agree, structure helps. Zoloft never did any good and kept me from sleeping, too. I tend to disagree with a lot just medicating, as it's not really getting to the root of the issue. As shizumazero suggested, write down everything.

Don't forget about cause and effect. If you've been lifting weights, it's natural to feel a little sore and tired from it. I've started lifting a little here and there, too. Just don't overdo it. Such things are best in moderation.

Wed, Jul. 23rd, 2008 06:11 am (UTC)
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