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Sun, Jul. 20th, 2008, 04:18 pm
toki_wartooth: Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

I went to the doctor today, and I feel like I'm going to die. It's about the same problem I posted about last time...only now...

I went and described all my symptoms, told him everything that might be wrong with my body, medications I'm taking, blah blah blah. Well, he said it could be several things...one of which was gastritis, another of which was a stomach bug. I can't remember one or two he said. But, unfortunately for my hypochondriac self, he had to add that it's possible for me to have Crohn's disease. Of course, I had to zero in on that one. Now I'm absolutely terrified that I have the beginnings of Crohn's disease. My dad doesn't think I do, but ... ugh. (One of my friends said it was only in "white people" and that I'd have a chance to have it if someone on my dad's—the "white" side—side of the family had it—which no one does...)

It sounded so dire. He told me that if I vomit or keep having diarrhea, I need to go to the hospital. I really, really, really, really don't want to go to the hospital. I'm absolutely terrified of those places. I was practically traumatized last time I was there, when they wanted to scan my stomach, and I had to drink a liquid...ugh. I could NOT drink and then roll over to those positions while lying down; I was way too nauseated, anxious, and uncomfortable. Those nurses and whatnot were so annoyed at me. I hated it. I also hated having to be in this area specifically for ... problems related to mine, stuck in a room with a girl who kept throwing up. Ugh, god, vomiting freaks me out.

But, really, I'm so scared of what this could be. The doctor said I had so many things wrong with me that I might/probably should get bloodwork. This wouldn't be a problem if I had health insurance and a regular doctor, neither of which I have. I have a yeast infection, these abdominal issues, an ear infection, and maybe an upper respiratory infection. I feel like my body is a walking, talking infection. I'm so scared of whether this all will get worse or not.

Granted, he gave me two antibiotics, and I recently took them. I just hope they start working fast...and I hope that what I have in my abdomen is an infection and not something horrible like polyps, tumors, Crohn's disease, etc.

God, I'm having such a hard time thinking about it. Any time I feel any twinge or movement in my abdominal area, I get scared. I'm even scared of going to the bathroom. That's so pathetic. :(

Mon, Jul. 21st, 2008 08:18 am (UTC)

The good thing is you are on the right path by going to the doctor and working on finding out what is wrong.

The next good thing is he said possible which isn't a DEFINITE. Doctors have to go over possibilities with you regardless of how scary they may be to prepare you for any outcome but that doesn't mean the outcome will be the worst. Like I said in comments on your previous posts, a lot of conditions have similar symptoms so it's really hard to diagnose by guessing. Doctors basically play a guessing game and tell you their opinion but they can't possibly know anything until testing is done.

We all dislike hospitals. I hate them with a passion. Unfortunately, we have to depend on them to stay healthy sometimes so just keep in mind that the hospital is there to help you even if it is unpleasant and try not to think about it too much. You don't want to stress yourself out and cause more stuff to happen to freak yourself out. When I get really bad worried and nervous, I get sick and all sorts of other stuff and naturally panic thinking whatever I have wrong is getting worse. Relax and try not to worry yourself sick.

Who Develops Crohn's Disease?
The condition occurs in both sexes and among all age groups, although it most frequently begins in young people. Jewish people are at increased risk of developing Crohn's, while African Americans are at decreased risk, which indicates the genetic link in this disease.

Even if it does turn out to be Crohn's, most people who have it lead active lives with few restrictions and it can be managed with medication. It doesn't mean you are going to die.

Good luck. I send you my best wishes and keep me updated on what's up. I've had you on my mind since your previous post and I'm really glad you are taking the necessary steps to staying healthy. If you need to talk, I'm here for you. I'm online every day so I'll reply when I see your messages. :)


Mon, Jul. 21st, 2008 08:06 pm (UTC)

Hm. I wonder why the doctor didn't ask for a stool sample. :/ I would've thought that might've given him an idea as to what it'd be, but he never asked...and I forgot to ask while I was in there. I didn't realize it until I got home. He could've done that much, even if I couldn't have gotten blood work.

True, about the hospitals.

Thanks a lot for the comments. I really appreciate it. *Hugs*

Tue, Jul. 22nd, 2008 07:03 am (UTC)

He could have been avoiding doing things like that because of your doctor and insurance circumstances and thought you wouldn't go for it.

Honestly though, I know health care is expensive but you should try to get the necessary blood work done if you can. The sooner you start treating whatever is wrong, the better.

If you're in the US, THIS website can help you find a doctor when you don't have health insurance that will allow you to pay what you can afford. I had forgotten about it but remembered it when making this post. It wouldn't hurt to try it.

I hope you feel better soon. Your body fighting off so much infection has to be tiring so make sure to drink plenty of water and get lots of rest. I'm suffering a UTI at the moment and on antibiotics myself (Levaquin). I feel miserable so I know you must feel miserable also.

Tue, Jul. 22nd, 2008 07:26 am (UTC)

That site is amazing. None of the ones closest to me have internal medicine, but one is about half-way between me and my friend...and that isn't too far. I'll try and get there tomorrow sometime. Thanks a lot for the link!

Tue, Jul. 22nd, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)

Okay...go figure. Clinics near here don't have what I need, I don't qualify for (not pregnant, not homeless, &c.), or they're booked until forever. One I called has no openings for appointments until October. Another didn't answer, and another has a defective automatic menu/voice thing. I also called this walk-in center down the street, and they got me a referral number at the hospital. But, the lady told me that some GI doctors don't see people who have no insurance because the office visit alone is often a couple hundred dollars...and things like lab tests, x-rays, &c. are a lot more. I myself only have $2700, and I only get paid $800/mo. I don't think I can manage this. :[

Wed, Jul. 23rd, 2008 06:32 am (UTC)

From experience, if you call up one of the places that are booked forever and say "Look, I saw a doctor with the last penny I had who said I may have Crohn's Disease and I do have an ear infection, yeast infection as well as other stuff and I need to have tests and such ran but can't afford to have it done unless I can find someone who will help me." they will sometimes get you in to see a doctor between patients if it's for something really important, which in your case, it is. I got a clinic that was booked solid for 6 months to let me in the day after I called because I had a Bartholin's Cyst that was causing me pain, it wasn't an emergency but they understood the pain was uncomfortable and that infection is bad to just leave untreated and helped me out. Sometimes you just have to explain and sound desperate to get their cooperation.

I totally understand your financial situation, I don't even have $2700. I think I have $20.00 in the bank at the moment. It sucks being broke and needing help but everyone makes it seem hopeless because they won't budge. This is why I forget my pride sometimes and beg them to see me.

Wed, Jul. 23rd, 2008 06:47 am (UTC)

Well, I guess it's worth a try. I'll try it when I wake up and see if anything changes.

Mon, Jul. 21st, 2008 12:15 pm (UTC)

that sounds like a horrible experience you had in the hospital, but hopefully that won't happen again. and at least if you have to go you will get the necessary tests done and treatment if needed. it's better to know what is wrong than to ignore it. and hopefully there won't be anything wrong!
One of my friends has Crohn's disease and it's not as awful as it sounds. admittedly it varies for people but she manages it with some meds and by diet. it's not pleasant but once diagnosed can be easily managed.
sounds like you are run down at the moment which happens to us all- but is a million times worse for us people who worry about illness! hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon and you will be feeling better in no time. try to take it easy and think positive thoughts.

Mon, Jul. 21st, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)

True...though I worry about the prices for that. Without insurance, that stuff costs tons. :/